"We mostly spend [life] conjugating three verbs: to Want, to Have, and to Do. Craving, clutching and fussing, on the material, political, social, emotional, intellectual, and even on the religious plane, we are kept in perpetual unrest: forgetting that none of these verbs have any ultimate significance, except so far as they are transcended by and included in, the fundamental verb, to Be: and that Being, not wanting, having and doing, is the essence of the spiritual life."
"To be," it's not as easy as it sounds...it sure wasn't back home. I have to say though, coming here a lot of the stuff that seemed to get in the way of just "being" sloughed off...just like Layla's extra coat of winter fur. I felt like our life quickly went through a sifter and the simple and most meaningful things were those that remained. It wasn't easy that first week for me to feel a bit out of control. We had jumped all in (and though I didn't admit it) I was scared I couldn't swim. That is when I grabbed for the rope, the thing that always anchors me...Christ. He was still there, as always, and I took comfort in reading the Word again. It is our life vest and how quickly we let it lose its power when we aren't in the water. Well, we are in the water now and I'm so glad I have him to hold on to!
Back to Being. Funny thing is that today in Ryland's school lesson on verbs we talked about that "to be" (is, am, was, were, etc) is the only verb that is not an "action" verb. It states a fact. Just as the quote says we preoccupy ourselves with Doing, Wanting, and Having when true life starts at Being. I am learning it's ok to be still, at our house enjoying the water and our family, and it doesn't matter what we are missing elsewhere. We are here, and being in that moment is good. I am learning to let go of feeling the weight of all that I should be doing, or even want to be doing. Time can stand still. I am where I am and who I am and that's all I can be. I am fine with that. Maybe we should change the title of this blog to "Make Me Be" because sometime we just can't do it on our own.
Also....Happy Birthday to my beautiful boy Ryland who makes my heart smile every day. I love you, Ryland!!
You always have the right things to say. I am envious of your rest and being in the place of just being able to be. I feel exactly like that quote described, perpetual unrest. My mind is never very settled. I am always thinking about the next thing and what I need to be doing. I think that is why I crave the beach so badly, because there I am calmer, I don't have to do so much. You are always so wise and thoughtful!
ReplyDeleteNice Heidi
ReplyDeleteHeidi, I'm so in tune with what you're saying. I'm also in that place where it's OK to just "be." You described it beautifully! Mom was right.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad things are going well with all of you! It looks like you're having a great time. I enjoy reading you're blogs.
Joleigh has a horse show this weekend. First time for both days. It's at the same place you came to so she'll be jumping. We're all excited especially Joleigh. I'll let you know how it goes.
JD turned 3 on the 13th...April is a good month. Lol
We love and miss you all and you'll continue to be in our prayers!
Thanks guys! Sunday, I know...I felt the same exact way. I don't know how well this will translate to when we go home either. Rosie, that is so great! I can't believe JD is 3 and I let that slip by...I will call you soon. Hugs and kisses from Belize!
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