I don't even know if I will fully grasp the changes until we get home and see ourselves in familiar mirrors and look at each other in the backdrop of our previous lives. This life feels so far removed from that life and, though it is the same strand of life, the lighting is different. I see things differently here. My perspective has changed on life, on necessities, on Belize, on friendships, on family, on America….not necessarily any particular philosophy but just how my philosophy is illuminated in the light of Belize. It's a spectrum change, or maybe a change in aperture. My eyes have adjusted to see life in this other light.
This change has been gradual...it always is to the one looking back at you in the mirror. For instance, I never realize how old I look until I see myself in pictures. We neglect to notice how much our kids have grown until we line 'em up against their height markers on the wall. My barometer for change is tied to my own perception of today, so answering the question of how Belize has changed us becomes hard, but a few things I know….
- It's harder to leave than we imagined
- We are 100% closer as a family
- We ALL would do this all over again…both the good and the bad (and the kids say they plan to one day with their children…+1 for the parents)
- Our clothes have more holes and stains, but it doesn't stop us from wearing them
- When I get a cold sore or a big zit, I don't get embarrassed to go out…I don't even think about it
- I have stopped apologizing for things like a dirty house or a botched meal
- We feel healthier and more fit
- We have more friends with different world views and many different languages
- We realize we need less…and WANT less
- I know less now about my future than I thought I knew before (I don't actually know less, I just know I know less now)
- For each new place we go, we find out about 10 more places we want to go
- I can spend all day in thought and get nothing done…and don't go to bed feeling guilty
- I am content to not get in a car for weeks on end (we LOVE our bikes)
- We wear our bathing suites 80% of the time…sometimes just because it is cooler than wearing clothes
- I read the Bible with less agenda and more of an open heart
- We watch near zero TV, but I don't know what we do with all of our time
- We cook more at home…together
- We argue less
- I don't use the word "should" as much
- I care less about 80% of the things I worried about before and care more about the 20%
- I now use showers to cool down, not to warm up (getting clean is just a temporary byproduct)
- I am never too busy to get interrupted here
- I know what weevils are and they are just like what they sound like
- by Heidi
Heidi I am so proud of you. Love Dad
ReplyDeleteSuch beautiful words as always. I am in awe of the peace, joy and enlightenment you have found in this beautiful place. I am so happy that your family has become so much closer, but you were always an amazing family, so much love for each other. My trip to see you was a great gift to me. I will always hold it in my heart as one of the most peaceful times in my life. You are an inspiring woman, wife and mother, and to me a loving daughter. You have so much to teach many of us, and I hope you will keep sharing your knowledge and love. I can't wait to hear how the rest of the journey unfolds. Love Lisa
ReplyDeleteHeidi, this is so well written. I can relate to this 100%. No one can tell you what it is like living abroad in Central America. You have to experience it for yourself to truly understand the meaning of all the things you mentioned. :)
ReplyDeleteHelen Arnold
Heidi! So well written and rings so true! Here is my hope for you: That you may invent some slight ceremony or ritual to wrap up your time together in Belize, and that, in so doing, you and Rich and Addy and Rylan feel well, and feel the universe shift a bit, to beckon you into a new era and a new adventure.
ReplyDeleteEsther
I love this sounds like you've had an amazing time of learning and changing and growing with your family would love to talk to you soon not sure how exactly call you so call me let's catch up! Can't wait to sit and chat with you I love this sounds like you've had an amazing time of learning and changing and growing with your family would love to talk to you soon not sure how exactly call you so call me let's catch up would love face to face when you get home!!
ReplyDeleteSo my comment commented twice- dumb
ReplyDelete